


Sinner's Saints

by errantcomment



Series: Sympathy For The Devil [1]
Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, not quite a pairing, will they won't they
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-20
Updated: 2012-06-20
Packaged: 2017-11-08 05:13:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/439542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/errantcomment/pseuds/errantcomment
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki wants to court Darcy. Darcy does not want to court Loki. Loki tries to court her anyway, with a distinctive Norse twist of his own...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sinner's Saints

**Author's Note:**

> Written for this [prompt.](http://norsekink.livejournal.com/3231.html?thread=6213279#t6213279)
> 
> This work has been [remixed](http://archiveofourown.org/works/885422) by Margo_Kim. You should read it because it's better than this.

Darcy was not a morning person. She preferred her mornings to start about 11:59 am and not a moment sooner. So she was unimpressed when her roommate, a bubbling blonde called (with no sense of discernible irony) Boo, woke her up eagerly.

"Oh my god, you like, have to see this! It's like, so weird."

Darcy, grumbling about bimbos with more hair than brains, followed her bouncing roommate down the hall to the common room.

Which was full of teddy-bears.

Darcy blinked and scrubbed at her face. It was too early for this.

"What—"

"This card was here too." Boo handed her a small square of thick card. _My sources tell me that sending a bear pelt would have not been as kindly taken as it was meant. Please accept this compromise_ followed by a kind of spiky scribble. Darcy rolled her eyes.

"What does that mean?" Boo was always eager for gossip, and Darcy's various (bad) choices in men were a major source of fascination for her.

"The hell should I know? It might be for that really loud girl on the third floor." Darcy shrugged. "Remember on their anniversary he filled her room with flowers? Took weeks to get rid of the smell of rotting vegetation." She dropped the card disdainfully on the table again and padded back to bed.

 

Darcy mooched along. She had been reliably informed that she couldn’t do anything else, so she mooched. She didn't even see the skinny kid till she ran right into him.

"Hey, watch where you're goin—" She blinked and looked up. The skinny kid grinned. "You. What the hell are you doing here? I thought your brother sent you back to... Oz or Mars or wherever it is you weirdos came from."

"And I have returned. I trust the bears were satisfactory."

"Bears— that was you? What the hell? If you're trying to threaten me..." Darcy started to hunt through her bag for her taser.

"No, no. I assure you, that is not my intention. Please allow me to introduce myself." He smiled, all charm in a tailor-made suit. "I'm Loki, and I would like to take you... How do they say it? On a fig?"

Darcy unwound her taser from where it was tangled with an old pair of tights, and paused.

"What? Do you mean a date?”

"Yes, that's it!" Loki smiled, genuinely pleased, and it was so unlike the lunatic with the dumb helmet, Darcy was put off-balance.

"You tried to kill me."

"And now I wish to make it up." His green eyes glinted.

"No way. You're a nut!" And Darcy pushed past him. When she got back to her dorm, she got a couple of garbage bags and shoved all the bears in them.

"So they were for you. Who is he?" Boo asked over her tea and teaching notes.

"Nobody. Just some idiot. I told him the score." Darcy muttered, her arms full.

She took the bears and dumped them outside Goodwill, before driving off with a screech of tyres.

And that should have been the end of it.

But of course, it wasn't.

 

The next day there was a note outside her door along with a large bouquet of roses. _I've been told that Chez Harry comes highly recommended. Please reconsider, and join me at eight_ and another spiky squiggle, which Darcy supposed meant 'Loki.'

"Oh. My. God. Chez Harry? That's really expensive! You have to wait months to get a reservation. It's supposed to be soooo romantic. Are you going to go?"

"What? No. He's crazy." Darcy watched Boo put the flowers (declared too beautiful to throw out) into a beer glass.

"But Chez Harry!" Boo's voice got increasingly squeaky when she was excited, and Darcy was having a hard time not imagining her as a hamster or similar annoying small twitchy creature.

"You could go and then just not see him again. What's the worse that could happen?"

"He could try to kill me. Again." Darcy flopped onto her bed.

"Or you could have a nice meal, paid for, at the swankiest restaurant in town. And then come back and tell me all about it." Boo fluttered her eyelashes. Darcy threw a cushion at her.

 

At 7:58pm precisely Darcy was unceremoniously pushed out of Boo's car.

"Have fun!"

"I hate you." Darcy glowered.

Boo waved and pulled off. Darcy tugged at her clothing. Boo had lent her a dress, and after a quarter of comfy jeans and old t-shirts, it felt uncomfortably clingy. She rolled her eyes at the stupid gauzy scarf that went with it, and stepped into the red velvet gloom of Chez Harry.

Chez Harry was pretty swanky, she had to admit. Dim lighting flickered across rich mahogany and wine-red velvet. Waiters moved around the tables like graceful poltergeists and under the rich movement of conversation. The hostess wore a long red dress. Darcy instantly hated her.

"Uh... Here on a date... With a guy with like, black hair... This tall?"

"Do you know the gentleman's name?" The hostess arched one perfectly plucked eyebrow and looked down her nose at Darcy.

"Er..."

"She's with me." Loki was just there. Darcy flinched away, wishing her clutch had been big enough for her taser. "Laufeyson; we have a reservation."

He smiled at the hostess, who immediately blushed. Darcy rolled her eyes. If only she'd seen the helmet and the weird-ass leather get up... Loki took her elbow and they sedately followed the hostess to a small booth.

"I am pleased to see you reconsidered after all—" Loki started, when the hostess had swept off again.

"Can it, greaseball. I'm only here for the food," Darcy growled.

"You are splendidly attired this evening. Although I do not think you're in need of so much make-up..."

"Hey, garcon?" Darcy snagged a waiter, who looked affronted. "Cosmopolitan. Light on the cranberry, heavy on everything else, okay?"

"And sir?"

Loki looked blank, and Darcy realised with a certain amount of delight she'd caught him off-guard. "...What she's having?"

"Very good." The waiter glided off.

There was an awkward silence.

"So..." Loki began.

"Look, Loki, or whatever you call yourself. Let's make this clear. I'm here for the food. After this, you'll leave me alone and go back to Oz or where ever you come from, and I’ll go home and strangle my roommate with her own scarf." Darcy folded her arms.

Loki looked confused. "I am not familiar with this Oz."

"What?"

"Is it within the Nine Realms?"

"What? No. Haven't you ever heard of Oz? Where the hell have you been for the last thousand years?"

"Asgard." Loki's brow wrinkled, and Darcy tried not to smile at his bafflement.

"You need to get educated."

The waiter came back with two Cosmopolitans. "Are you ready to order, madam?"

"Yep. I'll have the most expensive thing on the menu. And then bring out the dessert cart." The waiter showed no surprise. For these prices, he couldn’t afford to.

"The same, please." Loki smiled again, and the waiter blushed. Darcy allowed herself a raised eyebrow and attended to her drink.

"So what's the deal here? You take me out, kidnap me, forcing Jane to enlist the help of Big Blond and Butch?"

"Who— Oh. No. Nothing like that, I assure you. I only wish to get to know you. And I was assured this was the best way to do so."

"By who, exactly?"

"I have my sources. But enough about me. Tell me about yourself."

Darcy folded her arms.

"Look, Miss Lewis—Darcy. I have no designs on either Miss Foster or my brother. I simply wished to meet you properly, in your own territory. After tonight, if you so desire it, I will leave you alone."

"For good?" Darcy unfolded her arms.

"For good."

"Deal." Darcy reached out and shook his hand. To be honest, she hadn't expected it to be so easy.

Of course, it wasn't. Even knowing that Loki was a nut with a frankly bizarre taste in headgear, Darcy found it difficult to remain aloof, especially after the cocktails and the expensive champagne the waiter brought. Loki, for his part, was charming, the perfect gentleman, politely enquiring after school and books she had read, even though he was plainly as bewildered by Harry Potter as he was by the concept of Oz, and indeed ice-cream.

"What is it?"

"It's ice-cream. It's good." Darcy dug into her own bowl, pulling up a huge lump. "Like this."

Loki obediently dug in and put the spoon in his mouth. Then his eyes widened and he clapped his hands to his forehead. Darcy tried not to laugh at his reaction, and then felt bad as he looked up at her, painfully.

"Put your hand here." Darcy showed on her own forehead, then (an action she always would attribute to the third glass of champagne) leaned over and pressed her hand to roughly where his sinuses were.

"Okay, that was mean."

"Yes." Loki wiped the tears from his eyes and Darcy snatched her hand away. "It was."

"Consider it revenge for trying to kill me."

"You were of no consequence!" Loki snapped.

Darcy glared at him. Loki glared back.

"Er... Is everything okay?" The waiter looked nervously from Darcy to Loki.

"Fine. Get him the bill." Darcy started to gather her bag and the stupid scarf, which had wrapped itself around the chair leg. "I'm leaving."

Loki stood, hurriedly.

"But..."

"Nope, had my fill of smarmy aliens."

"Aliens?"

"You— Oh, what's the point?" Darcy tried to sweep out of the restaurant, before remembering she'd never tried a sweep before, which is probably why she tripped over a chair leg.

"Careful. You wouldn't want to ruin that pretty dress." Loki grabbed her.

"Get off me, creep." Darcy struggled upright.

"Apologies. I did not mean to offend.”

“Yeah, well, you did.” Darcy turned on her heel again.

“Please, Miss Lewis. If you would just allow me to explain.”

“Explain what. There is no explain. You’re weird, and you’re creepy, and you’re an alien. What if you want to probe me?”

“Probe—” Loki looked around the restaurant. People were trying not to stare. “Might we have this conversation elsewhere?”

“No. Because I’m leaving.” Darcy finally managed to get some momentum going on her dramatic exit. It wasn’t till she got home that she realised she’d left the stupid gauzy scarf behind.

 

Credit where it’s due, it did appear that Loki was going to leave her alone. Nevertheless, Darcy got in touch with Jane and let her know what had happened.

“I can’t believe you went out with him. He’s dangerous, Darcy. He’s a lunatic.” Jane was at her shrill and know-it-all best. Darcy instantly regretted calling her.

“It was only one date, jeez. What are you, my mother?”

“No, thank god, I would have died of shame. Promise me you won’t go near him again.”

Darcy sighed. “Fine. I told him never to show his face again anyway. It’s fine.”

“Huh. Well, keep safe, okay?”

“Yes Mother. I won’t go out with any more strange men.”

Darcy hung up, exasperated. Honestly, what did she know about not going off with strange men? Hell, that muscle man might have been any nutjob off the street, for all they knew. Although, she had to hand it to the greaseball, at least he had the decency to keep away.

Which is probably why he was waiting for her outside the library. He must have been watching TV or something since he was carefully dressed in jeans and a flannel shirt, with thick-rimmed glasses. He had her scarf tied round his arm.

“Miss— Darcy.”

“Buzz off.”

“Might I just speak to you?”

“No, buzz off. And that’s my scarf. Why do you have my scarf?”

“It’s a favour from my lady-love.”

“Lady— listen buster, I have never been anyone’s lady-love, and I’m not going to start now. What is wrong with you? I’m not interested. Come near me again, and I’ll taze your scrawny ass into next week!”

Loki took a step back, and Darcy spun on her heel and managed a pretty good sweep away from him.

 

It was raining. Darcy wanted to go out. But it was raining. Boo had a new girlfriend, which was frankly making Darcy want to go out even more.

“You should really think about getting a boyfriend. They’re so relaxing.” Boo was trying to make her hair look like Marilyn Monroe in her mirror.

“I don’t want a boyfriend. Boyfriends are society’s way of suppressing young women.”

“You always say that when you haven’t been laid in a while.”

Darcy threw a cushion at her. “I hate you.”

There was a buzz at the door. Boo padded over.

“Darce, there’s someone downstairs waiting for you.”

“Who is it?”

“Dunno.” Boo went back to the mirror, apparently unconcerned, but Darcy saw with some annoyance that she was practically vibrating with excitement.

“No, you do.”

“Yes, I do. But you’ll have to go down there.” Boo shoved Darcy through the door.

“I hate you.” Darcy stomped down the stairs and flung the door open.

“Oh for god’s sake,” Darcy groaned when she saw a familiar rangy figure. “Can’t you take a hint? Go. Away.”

“No, wait.” Loki looked up, blinking rain out of his eyes. “I had to swap round some cloud patterns to make this work, and that’s not as easy as my brother makes out. I may have caused a flood in Peru—no, wait, don’t go. I wish to speak with you.”

He still had her scarf tied round his arm. It looked ridiculous.

“All the films seemed to think that this would work, anyway. Miss Lewis—Darcy. I feel like we could make an exceptional couple. It’s true that when I first began my quest to pursue you, I thought there may be a tactical advantage to our union, but now, I see you as you truly are, and I feel that any tactical advantage is less than secondary to how I feel about you now. I thought you to be stubborn and at best, an idiot with delusions of intelligence—”

Darcy went to slam the door in his face. It would be incredibly satisfying.

He grabbed her sleeve. “Please, I’m not done. I practised.”

“You practised a spontaneous speech? What kind of loser are you?” Darcy wrenched her sleeve out of his grip and folded her arms. “Go on then.”

“I... Um... Oh, yes. But I got to know you and found out you were funny, smart, beautiful, everything I have always craved in a companion. I would dearly like to know you better, and to take you on more figs—dates...” He trailed off in the face of her stare.

“You’re crazy. You’re completely nuts. Who the hell makes it rain just to give a romantic speech? Can’t you get a clue or did you keep them all in that stupid hat? And give me my damn scarf back; it doesn’t even belong to me!” She pulled at the scarf and it made a ripping noise as the fabric caught.

“Goddamn it. Now I owe Boo a new scarf. Thanks a lot.” Darcy was getting really good at sweeping now. She never got much opportunity usually.

When Darcy got back up to her room, Boo gleefully reported that Loki was still standing in the rain, looking lost and annoyed.

“He looks like someone took his teddy bear. Poor thing. You should be nicer to him.”

“Boo, he’s an asshole. And he tore your scarf.” Darcy tossed it to her. “Don’t worry, I’ll get you a new one.”

“How’d he tear it?” Boo held it up, critically.

“He was wearing it round his arm like a dork.”

“Oh no, that’s like, sooo romantic. Like he’s a knight errant and you’re his like, damsel.” Boo sighed and crumpled the scarf before tossing it back. “I wish I could get a guy to do that.”

Darcy blinked and then remembered Boo was minoring in medieval literature.

“Yeah, well, it’d be fine if he wasn’t a creepy asshole.”

Boo shrugged and went back to her homework. Darcy cautiously looked out of the window. “He’s still there. Doesn’t he have a home to go to back in Oz or where ever it is he’s from?”

“It’s sweet. You have like, no romance in your soul.” Boo joined her at the window. “You should totally give him the scarf back. And your number.”

“No way. I’m still kind of hoping he’ll get the hint and just leave.”

“He just sat down on the steps.” Boo suddenly grinned and picked up the scarf. “I can be like, your maid, who has to go between the forbidden lovers and like, exchange their letters.”

“What?” Darcy looked up to see Boo making for the door. “No, what the hell are you doing? Come back!”

Darcy chased Boo to the lifts. “Just cut it out. Why do you want me to do this? I’m not interested in him!”

“You’re never interested in anyone who takes you out for swanky meals and buys you flowers and leaves you notes.” Boo pulled out a bit of paper and started to write a number on it.

“Believe me, he is not usually the flowers and notes type!” Darcy tried to snatch away the paper but Boo was too tall.

“Maybe he’s just shy!”

“Maybe he’s just psychotic! Boo—” The lift doors opened and Darcy and Boo tumbled out.

“I’m gonna do it,” Boo said threateningly, holding the piece of paper aloft. “I’m gonna go out there--”

“Oh for god’s sake.” Darcy snatched the piece of paper and the scarf and marched to the door. “I’m not going to go out with him though!”

She flung the door open. Loki sprang up from the step, eagerly.

“Look. Here.” She thrust the scarf and the bit of paper at him. “Now go away.” Loki took the scarf and looked genuinely delighted. He slipped the paper into his pocket.

“I will contact you as soon as soon as three days are passed.” He made an elegant bow and Boo nudged her excitedly. Loki pressed the scarf to his lips, smiled, and bounded off into the rain.

“I don’t get it,” Darcy muttered. “It’s not even real silk.”


End file.
